How to tell your children Donald Trump won the election

ow to tell the children Donald Trump won the election? This is the question lefties have been asking all week. They're concerned and quite a bit scared.

I put it to you that they're overthinking it. I suggest something like: “Donald Trump won the election.”

A writer in the Washington Post says:

We – parents, teachers, grandparents, and community leaders – spend so much time teaching kids the importance of inclusion and acceptance and compassion each and every day. How do we explain to them that someone who does not embody those basic principles is ascending to the highest position in the land?

Pretend to be an adult. Pretend you know how to lose gracefully. Maybe say, “It's time for all of us to grow up, kids. The time when we all pretended to be offended at everything so we could call everybody who disagrees with us a racist and misogynist is over. Yes, it sucks to lose but we're going to have to live in the real world now.”

Snowflakes

Of course, kids are pretty smart. They probably know they're just being used as props here. They know their nutty parents are just invoking ‘the children’ as a way to claim the mantle of righteousness (a human shield, as one writer put it). The smart ones know what the crazy grups are really asking is: How can we present the repudiation of our worldview in the most emotionally charged, victimized, self-justifying, snowflakey way?

Do a good job, because ten years from now they'll be watching the grainy filmclips from back in the Before-Time when you rioted over an election result, beamed into their iGoogApple iBrain iImplants, and they'll say something like:

Omigod! Was that, like, totally you? How embarrassing! Didn't you guys ever read the, like, Federalist Papers? I mean oh my, like, totally God!

To be honest, I started feeling a bit rioty and demonstratey and chanty myself when I read this in the Guardian:

Books carefully researched for their nongendered depiction of boys may well be bested by The Dinosaur that Pooped the Bed. Fair enough. But when a book such as Martin Waddell and Helen Oxenbury's Farmer Duck comes along, it seems all the more precious for the genuine joy it gives your little ones. This allegory of redistributive justice may sound worthy, but it remains funny. ... What an awful teaching moment for all of our young and especially those who are disabled, or girls, or people of colour or LGBT.

I suspect the more of this lefty drivel they pour down their little ones' tiny throats, the more they'll grow up to despise your nongenderism and your redistributive social justice, just like the children of the 60s hippies all turned into little Wall Street tycoons and got filthy rich.

Here's what the rioters are really afraid of: their mindless name-calling has just about stopped working. From now on they're going to have to come up with real arguments instead of shutting down the discussion by pretending to be offended. And that scares the pants off them.

Millennials need to toughen up. Much worse things than losing elections are coming. So if I were a emotionally crippled liberal I'd tell the whiny little brats something like this:

Donald Trump won the election. PC is dead. Progressivism has been repudiated. The culture wars are over and mommy 1 and mommy 2 lost. So suck it up and deal with it, Sunshine! And you, Rainbow, stop putting that in your mouth!

They'll probably look at you like you've gone mad, and that would be a good sign. It means they've started seeing things as they really are, maybe for the first time.