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Saturday, August 20, 2016

Hillary's Short Circuit

A circuit analysis suggests it is not a short circuit, but a bad capacitor.

A few days ago, Hillary Clinton reportedly short-circuited. Until now, the exact way this happened has been a mystery, given her previous claim that she was a “real person” (thoroughly debunked here by the Washington Free Beacon).

Humans are, of course, not powered by electricity. I've worked with computers for many years, and I propose that, as far-fetched as it might seem, Hillary was actually telling something that approached the truth. But it was not a short circuit. She is exhibiting classic symptoms of having a bad capacitor.

Electrolytic capacitors
Electrolytic capacitors

The most common fault with electrolytic capacitors is when the top starts to bulge. Sometimes the electrolyte also leaks out and causes corrosion.

Bad capacitors on a computer motherboard cause many of the same problems that we've seen with Hillary. We had one once on a PC at work running Windows XP. It would run fine (well, okay, walk) for a while, until we put it under stress by making it do calculations. Then it would mysteriously forget little details. It would lose data. Some of the words on the screen would come out garbled and start blinking. Then it would stop acquiring data and seize up.

Of course, I'm not claiming that Hillary is a PC running Windows XP. Hillary is much older than that—maybe from the MS-DOS era or even earlier.

MS-DOS had no multitasking; instead it made use of terminate-and-stay-resident (TSR) programs. Like Bill Clinton, TSRs stop running but never actually leave. They reside in memory forever, causing many problems.

If Hillary's brain is running some version of MS-DOS, possibly version 2.0 (the first version that supported FAT-16), it would also explain her small memory capacity, her tendency to seize up, and her tendency to fall over and crash.

Her sound card is still functioning, though it too appears to be malfunctioning. It is making harsh screechy barking sounds, which is also characteristic of bad capacitors.

Repairing bad caps is a minor task for computer experts; unfortunately whoever was doing her IT seemed to have such limited skills that her server hid from them, apparently in a bathroom, where no IT guy with any knowledge of computers would ever put one, or ever think to look.

It also explains FBI Director Comey's mysterious graywash: having outlined an indictable felony, something any grand jury would chow down on as if it were a ham sandwich with mustard and dill pickles, he then claimed that no prosecutor would ever take the case.

It was a strange thing to say: a government prosecutor has ample means of protecting him- or herself against retaliation, even from a Clinton. We are neither a mafia state nor a banana republic. Not yet. Or if Comey thought she might escape justice by getting elected he could have recommended a delay until after she's impeached.

Now we know the reason: laws are for people. You can't put a burned out PC XT with bad caps on trial. When a PC deletes your email, you can't indict it for destruction of evidence. And no justice department worthy of the name would let a person get away with making it happen. So Hillary must be a PC. It's the only explanation that exonerates Clinton and vindicates Comey. The alternative is too terrible to contemplate.

Updated aug 22 2016, 12:42 pm

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