There are rumors that US President Trump, at the urging of William Shatner, has plans to reclassify Pluto as a planet.
Planet Trump. Trump Crater can be seen in the lower right, center left, upper center, lower left center, and far left
Many people think Pluto received a great injustice when it was demoted to dwarf planet. The rationale was that Pluto is only one of thousands of similar objects, notably Ceres, the Asteroid Belt, and the millions of objects in the Kuiper Belt and Oort Cloud. Demoting it also messed up the horoscopes of billions of people, including those who, like Trump, were born with Pluto in opposition.
One astrologer, William Stickevers, says
An Out-of-Bounds Mercury grants [Trump] uninhibited, off-script communication, and Uranus trine Jupiter enhances his risk-taking instincts and his flair for surprise timing.
But we should be careful what we wish for. We’ve seen what happens when Trump starts renaming things. Consider:
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mercury | Venus | Earth | Mars | Jupiter | Saturn | Uranus | Neptune | “ ” |
| Trump | Trump | America | Trump | Trumpiter | Trump | Trump | Trump | Trump |
What will happen when TASA returns to the Moon?
TRUMP 1: Trump, the Trump has landed.
TRUMP CENTER: Uh, Roger, what are your current coordinates?
TRUMP 1: We’re 3.47 trumps from Trump Crater.
On a more serious note, it’s fair to speculate on the real reason Trump imposed a 50% tariff on Canadian autos and steel and renamed Lake Ontario to Lake America. My suspicion is that it’s intended to send a strong message to China. Xi Jinping might be thinking: “Goodness gracious, if they’ll do that to their closest ally, what would they do to us?”
After Trump buys both Taiwan and China, the dispute will be over. The People’s Republic of Trump would have no reason to invade Trumpwan.
Indeed, when every country, every body of water, every unit of measurement, and every crater on the Moon is named Trump, war between countries will be impossible. It would just be far too confusing. If every country is part of America and everyone and everything is called Trump, we’ll finally have universal world peace between countries. After all, who loves another Trump more than a Trump?
aug 31 2026, 6:10 am
