The American President demonstrates the hazards of second-hand gunsmoke.
Atheists in foxholes
We atheists have changed our minds about foxholes. Right now, they look pretty good. The news media, the Senate, and religious conservatives are giving us quite a beating about that crazy ruling
Rin Tin Tin For President
Rin Tin Tin could hardly do worse in the White House than its current occupant. But he's got birth certificate problems.
Global Catastrophe Imminent...Poor To Drown In Global
Drought...All Bush's Fault!
Just when you thought cooler heads had prevailed, and all this global warming stuff had been dismissed as politically-motivated hysteria, someone releases another report to the media with even more fantastic predictions about how we're all going to die because of too much carbon dioxide.
The Collected Physics Problems of William
Problem 1: Shall I compare thee to a summers day?
Man Vs. Wilderness in Washington, D.C.
Hi, my name is Grear Bylls. I've climbed to the foot of Mount Everest and crossed the freezing North Atlantic Ocean in a small, open ocean liner. Today, I'm going to tell you how to survive in one of the most hostile wild environments in the world: downtown Washington, D.C.
What is happening to our puppets?
The only thing preventing puppets from committing crimes against humanity, genocide, or even a second Holocaust is their lack of ability to formulate ideas, hold opinions, and to move or act independently.
How to Build a Biological Weapon
Dear brothers, It's come to my attention, from reading the news reports circulating in the decadent imperialistic Western media, that the only factor preventing
The Thamnophobia Crisis
A new disease has been discovered: thamnophobia, or fear of Bush. Its diagnostic criteria, possible causes, and treatment modalities are discussed.
We Will Control the Horizontal.
The British press may have finally gone off the deep end. With a scare article in The Economist, a news magazine that is normally a bastion of reason and moderation, the editors have taken time out from predicting the imminent bursting of America's economic bubble to ruefully inform the world that neuroscientists are feverishly developing
Duck and Cover
The idea that the only possible outcome of a nuclear conflict would be a universal holocaust, in which everyone would die, as the movie "Atomic Cafe" suggests, is simply false.
Smallpox, Indians, and Germ Warfare
The story of the British spreading smallpox as a form of germ warfare against the American Indians in the years before the Revolutionary War has received wide attention in recent years. But is it true or merely politically-inspired disinformation?
Home Enervation and Repair
Some of the regular visitors to this site may have wondered why I have not written many new articles lately. The reason is that your columnist has been hard at work resting in order to find an excuse to to avoid doing much-needed home repairs.
Barbie rose from poverty-stricken Wisconsin to become one of the most spectacularly successful executives of all time, despite numerous medical problems including a lifelong struggle with Tourette's syndrome.
Watch Out For the Mutes
Scientists have claimed that the desire to spend other people's money is caused by a mutation that affects their brain. There is, as yet, no cure.
Morgellon's disease in invertebrates? Tiny colored fibers resembling those seen in Morgellon's disease have been found in CNS cultures of a sea slug.
Myths about tsunamis
A great deal of misinformation is being spread about tsunamis. This page attempts to correct some of these myths about "tidal waves".
Psychobabble as motivated political liberalism
A number of my colleagues in academia seem to be confused about the nature of the two major political forces in America these days. A particularly egregious example of this was a recent article in the American Psychological Association's journal Psychological Bulletin ("Political conservatism as motivated social cognition.
Obamao The Chinese know a Maoist when they see one.
Hillary Clinton (D -- LV-426)
Okay, you already know most of the story: They welded the doors shut to keep her out. Acid for blood.
Questions and Answers About Text Messaging
Many people find text messaging to be baffling. In fact, text messaging, also known as SMS, is very easy.
The High-Tech World of Usama bin Laden
We haven't heard much from the media recently about Usama bin Laden. So where is old Usama these days? The military, of course, is constantly checking his mailbox for change-of-address cards for his subscriptions to Jihad News and Shahid Death to the Satanic Infidels Report
Recap of the News from 2050
Here is a recap of the major news events of the year 2050.
Predictions for 2007
Start stocking up on dried crackers and salted peanuts. The coming year (which I predict will be called "2007") will be one of the most eventful yet.
Global Trends 2055: A New Hope
The National Intelligence Council has just come out with its predictions for the year 2025, titled "Global Trends 2025: A Transformed World". I predict a little farther.
Computer Predictions for 2006
A remarkable new computer program has been devised that can predict news events in the future. We use the program to predict future events about famous celebrities from Einstein all the way down to Jessica Simpson.
Predictions for 2005 (and 2105)
The year 2005 promised to be so boring I made predictions for 2105 instead.